There was this happy wee boat and it was oot doing boat stuff on the River Clyde on its way over tae Millport. This strange fish hopped oot the water and slapped the wee boat right on the face.
“Whit’s this awe aboot, ya prick?” said the boat, loosing his temper. Highly oot ae character but understandable given the circumstances.
“Haw, calm it. Am a magic fish, and am going tae grant ye a wish.”
“The wee boat though fir a second and said, “A kin wish for anything?”
“Anything, ma prince,” the fish said.
“Then a wish a could swim under the water. Am always on the top being blown aboot in this freezing cold wind, wae hunners of wee jakey bastards sitting on ma back. I’d love tae swim right under wae awe you wee fishies and see whit’s whit, ye know? Jist fir a wee afternoon would be smashing.”
The magic fish smiled. “What a beautiful wish. But if ye go under, ye cannae come back. That’s the rules am afraid.”
“A understand,” said the wee boat. “Am going fir it!”
The fish winked and disappeared back under the water. Along came a big wave and it held oot a welcoming hand. The boat gladly took it and went fir that eternal refreshing swim tae the deep. Sadly awe the people onboard drowned. But it was worth it. Well worth it. The hings that happy wee boat seen wir oot ae this world.