There was this dog and it didnae like this old guy down at Chryston Bowling Club. Safe to say the dog hated him. The old guy was reeking of pish and always putting his manky hands where they wirnae wanted. For this reason alone, the dog didnae want to go to that fucking bowling club ever again. His owner knew this but was a pure selfish bastard and didnae listen to anything the dog telt him. So that afternoon, after a nice wee run about in the Moor Park, the dog was dragged to the bowling club.
There wisnae even ten minutes gone when old reeking-of-pish patted the dog on the head with a sticky wet hand on his way back from taking a pish/shite and the dog just lost it. Just lost it. There was bunnets and warm lager flying everywhere. After old-reeking-of-pish breathed his last breath, the dog let go of his throat.
“I fucking telt ye!” said the dog. “I fucking telt yeez all what would happen if he went near me.”