There was this puddle a sick hanging aboot ootside the Orchid Lane one Sunday morning. Bits a spring roll, chocolate ice cream, rice and other wee pals wir awe splashing around in a mixture of Buckfast and bile water. Having the time ay their lives so they wir. A paradise ye could say.
But there wir two half-eaten prawn cracker clumps that wirnae having it. Real pissed aff so they wir.
“This is oor pool. We got here first and that fucking chicken and sweetcorn soup is dain ma head right in,” one of them said.
“Well, whit dae ye want tae dae?” said the other.
“I’ll show ye.”
The wee cracker found the biggest piece of Chicken Satay and malkied it right oot the sick pool.
“That’s right, am in charge. Awe ay yeez get the fuck oot ma pool.”
The others wir shitening it, wondering who would be next. The wee bits a rice? Naw. The spring roll? Naw. Sadly fir the wee prawn cracker it was him. A big crow dived oot fae a tree and swallowed him whole! The other wan high tailed it oot before he was next.
The others tried tae recapture the former paradise, but too much had happened. Before an hour was up, half ay them ended up on people’s shoes and the other in the belly of a poor lad who was addicted tae the bookies and gambled away awe his dinner money.