The Meeting

There was this guy and he was at a boring as fuck council meeting tae discuss a complaint fae an auld wuman about parking spaces near the doctors. Worst temp job in Muirhead. Should have stayed on the brew.

“And a warned the receptionist lassie because of ma hip that a need the wan closest tae the door. There’s always a van parked there. And…”

Fucking boring as fuck. He soon spaced out and pictured chopping everyone’s head aff wae a sword, then wae an axe. Chopped the baldy wans first and went fae there. Chop, chop, chop – heads flying everywhere, blood hitting the roof and everyone jist accepting their fate – as they awe wanted death more than another second of that meeting.

“So what’s your stance, new fella?”

The guy spaced in and awe eyes wir on him. He pointed tae himself and the auld cunt running the meeting nodded, eyebrows squeezing together.

“We brought ye in the day fir a fresh approach. This problem has plagued us fir five year. So whit’s yir take on it?

The guy jist stood up, pulled out an axe and jist went fir it.

“Here’s ma fucking take on it,” he said. “Right fucking here. Yaaasss!”

Heads went flying. The meeting was over.

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