This guy was in the queue for the chippy waiting on a fried pizza supper. Chippy was bouncing coz it was a few days after Christmas and every cunt was fed the fuck up wae turkey.
He turned tae the guy waiting behind him.
“Intit the worst when yir at work or something like that n yir stomach makes a noise that sounds like a fart n every cunt hings you’ve farted but ye hivnae?”
“Who ir you?”
“A fucking says, who ir ye? Dae a know ye? Are we pals?”
“Naw,” the guy whispered. “Am actually fae Moodiesburn. Up by the Devro. Dae ye-”
“No even fae here, eh? Am minding ma own business trying tae think whit a want fir ma tea and you interupt me wae shite patter.”
“A wiz jist passing time. Sorry. A didnae mean any harm. A didnae know ye didnae like a wee blether.”
“Why the fuck would a want tae talk wae ye when am jist finished ma work, am pure shattered, the wife’s dain ma head in, and awe a want tae dae is get ma tea?”
“Fair enough, am real sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Go on, fuck aff.”
So the guy fucked aff without his pizza supper. Tae be exact, he fucked himself aff the that bridge over Station Road. Highly embarrased he was. Survived but cannae walk anymore. Shame. Especially since he’s fae up by the Devro where there is fuck awe around.
Absolutely fuck awe.