There was this goat and it lived on wan ae them farms near the black and white tower and it took a shite in this wuman’s mouth.
The wuman choked and died.
“Wisnae ma fucking fault,” the goat said, being taken away in cuffs. “She payed me ten quid tae dae it.”
It was pure greeting and the farmer shamefully washed his hands ae the poor soul. Miraculously, after being quizzed by Muirhead’s finest the goat was set free!
Just kidding, the Muirhead justice system isnae so forgiving. It was raped by a pack ae trainee polismen and cooked up fir a Mount Ellen wedding.