This wee guy left school wae nae Standard Grades, but luckily he got himsel a summer job as a jam boy fir a pair a rich chaps at Crowwood golf course.
He stripped aff and was lathered up in strawberry jam head tae toe.
“Jam Boy! Seven iron,” said posh Lenzie wank number one.
Jam boy was dain his job well as he had kept awe the midgies and wasps away fae the Lenzie wanks.
Sadly his eyes had swollen up fae the biting and he handed over a sticky nine iron by mistake.
Jam Boy was swiftly beaten tae death fir his insolence, the ruffian that he was.