There was this mad wee squirrel and it had been hiding up a cheggy tree awe winter. What a sleep it had by the way.
It was feeling brand new, so it jumped oot ready tae take on the world…
And a big dug that had escaped fae the scrappy got a hod ae it and chewed the wee hing’s tail aff.
It managed tae escape and ran intae the nearest hoose. What a relief.
“A fuckin rat! Get that stabbed,” said a big wuman tae her boy whose hoose the wee squirrel had escaped intae.
The squirrel flung its wee hands up. “Wait! Am no a rat am a-”
Hing was deid in ten seconds flat n flung oot the windy fir that big dug tae chew away on.
And that’s why we should awe stay in oor beds n no go oot ever again. Dangerous fucking world so it is.