Last Train Hame

Last train hame fae the town n the train jist stopped. Middle a nowhere. Yir worst nightmare.

“Fucks goin on?” said a wee guy aboot 14. Right wee wideo kinda guy. Only person on the train it seemed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, some cunt jumped on the line and the train in front halfed him in two. Trains cancelled. Everbody aff,” went an announcement fae the driver.

“But it’s pishing it ootside. And where the fuck ir we?”

“Aff!” said the voice.

“Naw. Al end up getting ma baws shot aff oot there. Fucking farmers ir mental.”

“You don’t huv any baws, ya wee prick. Aff! Al no fucking tell ye again. The polis are coming so scram.”

So the wee guy jumped aff the train, walked over the rail tracks and intae a field. Was aboot a two year walk fae hame. Phone was deid. Nae sign ae a road. Pitch fucking black. Ye would huv felt sorry fir him if he wisnae wan ay them wee wideo neds who didnae even pay fir a train ticket.

After aboot an hour’s walk he saw a light. A hoose! He belted it tae the hoose, soaked n freezin. Could smell a beef stew wafting oot fae somewhere. Mibby even get a feed and a lift hame!

He chapped the door.

“Whit is it?” said a voice fae a windy.

“Eh alrite, big man. Ma train kicked me aff in the middle a nowhere. Am lost. Kin a-”

“Train? Thir’s nae trains aboot here. Trying tae steal ma prize goosegogs, ir ye?”


Fae the windy this shootgun poked oot.

Bam. Bam.

Wee guy’s baws wir shot aff.

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