Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday and the auld Irish priest was geeing oot ashes up at the Muirhead chapel. Pure scunnered so he was. Jist wanted tae get back tae watching the hurling on the telly and eating the rest ae them pancakes fir lunch.

A pure mob a cunts turned up tae the chapel. Hidnae seen half ae them in his 50 year up there afore and nae doubt most ae them would be dain fuck awe fir Lent.

He dipped his thumb and crossed a wee laddie. Never fucking ending so it was. He goes tae dip his thumb intae the ash again but thir’s none left. This bald guy was looking at him wae ‘geez ma ashes ya auld cunt’ eyes. Priest jist loses it.

“Is that right?”

The guy looked surprised. “Is whit-”

“Well, how’s this fir ashes.” He grabbed the guy by the neck and malkied him.

“Embdy else want thir ashes? Naw? Didnae hink so. Go the mass has ended. Awe ae yeez get tae fuck.”

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