There was this auld wee midgie and it pure loved its life. Biting awe sorts a cunts anytime it wanted and coz he was so fast, nabdy could squish him. At 72 year auld he had lost a bit ae speed but still had plenty ae juice in the wings but.
It was spring and he was back oot ready fir action. He spotted this a fat lassie coming oot the pub fir a smoke. Reeking ae Blue Wkds so she was n wearing a crop top wae her big belly hinging oot.
“Target locked, permission tae land. Permission granted, good sir. Feast away,” the midgie said.
He landed on that big hing’s belly and sunk his wee midgie biting hing right in there.
“Jesus, Moira. Thir’s a stinking midgie on yir belly,” said her pal.
The wee midgie, sharp as fuck, spotted her hand coming right for him n took off. But sadly he was stuck in a wad ae belly sweat n couldnae move an inch.
Hing was died.