Salary Men

This guy was on the Muirhead subway line headin fir his giro. Nae seats but plenty standing space until a hoard ae wee salary men swarmed on at the next stop at Moodiesburn.

Instead ae waiting two fuckin minutes fir the next train, every last salary man cramed on the wan train coz they wir awe fannies like that. He was sandwiched between two sweaty cunts wae reeking hot breath. The poor guy managed tae sneak in his headphones, held on tae the railing and went tae sleep.

When he woke up, the train was suprisingly empty. Still running but. He rubbed his wee giro face and looked at the stop – next wan Cumbernauld.

But… but there was blood everywhere. Somebody had murdered awe the salary men! A beautiful miracle. He had a machete covered in blood in his hand but it wisnae him, officer. It wisnae. That guy was sleeping.

“Ave been set up! A hate those wee bastards, but a didnae dae it!”

The polis didnae believe a word and he was locked up fir a 90 year stretch doon the mines.

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